War Torn Lovers
by essentialcatalyst
Summary: After the final battle Hermione needs to feel something again, anything. With most of her friends dead, Hogwarts destoryed and weight of death on her shoulders what will happen? She finds someone who she hates for being exactly like her: lost. R/R please!
1. Everything lost, nothing gained

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Harry Potter or anything else for that matter.  
  
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The war began six months into her seventh year, the children stayed at Hogwarts because it was deemed safe by the ministry. Twenty-eight days later it was the worse possible place. Voldemort managed to convince the giants to be on his side, along with the dementors and was currently making his way across the lake. There was no where to go, no where to hide and everyone already knew they would die. In an act of desperation Dumbledore sent an owl to the ministry telling of the attack, knowing it wouldn't get there in time.  
  
The enemy arrived in minutes, breaking every protection spell around the grounds of Hogwarts were making their way toward the castle. The front doors were blocked with various items and spells. Sparing them a few presious minutes to get ready for what was to come.   
  
All the students were gathered in the Great Hall waiting for the end to come. The old motto safety in numbers was turning out to be more like comfort in knowing you won't die alone. Many confessions were made in the little time they had. Draco was over heard saying he had spied for the dark lord. Ginny finally told Harry she was in love with him. Ron and Hermione, who had been together for almost two years, got into a fight about something and proceeded to tell each other they were in love with other people. Ron with Lavender and Hermione with Harry.  
  
When Hermione finally had enough of the sobbing, yelling, and whining she jumped onto one of the dining tables, and said with a paled face and emotionless voice, "We're all going to die in here you idiots!" This seemed to just cause more yelling and sobbing. She continued, unfazed by their reactions, "We will die either as children, or as witches and wizards." There was a long pause, with a quiet voice she finished, "I will die a witch."  
  
With everything that needed saying, said she jumped off the table and turned, walking away from innocence toward the exit. Ron and Harry looked at each other, then glanced around at everyone else. With heads held high they quickly ran to catch up with her, the dream team was together again. With their wands held before them and eyes dangerously lit they joined the battle that was about to begin outside the room.  
  
The teachers stood in a line, wands pointed at the main entrance, heads high. Hermione joined between Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall, not saying a word. Harry and Ron soon found places and the teens copied their teacher's positions. The door was beginning to give way.   
  
Soon the rest of the students joined them in the last stand, all trying to crowd their way into the line of battle. The door finally snapped open and hundreds of death eaters and dementors were pushing their way in while the giants found other ways to brake the glorious castle. The teachers silently cried for these children, but said nothing. Giving up seemed the wisest thing, but there was still too much to fight for. Years seemed to have passed within the next few hours, spells were lighting the place beyond belief and screams were chasing their ways in everyone's head.   
  
Most of the students fell within the first hour, but they fell heros.   
  
Harry confronted Voldemort near the end of the second hour. All stopped and watched as the two dueled, fear plastered on everyone's face. It ended with a blinding stream of light and echoing screams, when the light faded a new scream was heard. Harry's body was sprawled on the floor. Five feet away was Voldemort's carcass.   
  
Aurors suddenly rushed through doors capturing the remaining death eaters. The war was over. The ministry had recieved the owl Dumbledore sent 30 minutes earlier, but since no one could apparagate into Hogwarts they had to find other ways to get there.   
  
Three teachers and a mere 15 students survived the battle. Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore were the surviving teachers. Among the students there was one 7th year Slytherin, Draco Malfoy, two 7th year Gryffindors, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasly, two sixth year Hufflepuffs, five seventh year Ravenclaws, three fifth year Slytherins, and two sixth year Gryffindors.  
  
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A/N: Please review and tell me anything if this story is worth continueing! I really appreciate all reviews! 


	2. Too much to handle

A/N: Sorry about the time it took me to update, but with work and school things got kind of hetic. Please read and review! I hope you enjoy this chapter, if not tell me, if you do please tell me!!!!  
  
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Several things hit Hermione after the aurors contained then remaining death eaters, giants and demetors. Harry was dead. She had killed many people. Hogwarts was destroyed. All her friends were basically gone, forever. Her eyes wandered over the bodies of teachers and children alike, she should feel something. One of many problems though was she felt nothing, a simple, comfortable nothing.   
  
Draco had changed sides last minute, but it didn't matter. He was taken along with the rest of the Dark Lord's followers, where she didn't know. She didn't care. Most of those who survived were hurt badly and had been rushed to the hospital wing of the school, she hadn't been hurt. Why hadn't she been hurt? She kept asking herself that question over and over. Tearing her eyes away from the destruction she noticed another figure standing amid the bodies, Severus Snape. He looked up at her, features similar to hers; confused, empty, and numb. Something stirred with her, anger. She narrowed her eyes at him, why hadn't he been hurt? Harry had died, but him! He of all people had lived? He didn't deserve to live! He was evil, and he hadn't been hurt. She was pissed, correction beyond pissed, livid.   
  
She made her way to him, stumbling over bodies before she finally reached him. He blinked, clearly surprised to see her standing in front of him. Her eyes pierced his, suddenly she brought a closed fist up and connected with his jaw. He stumbled back and tripped over a forgotten student. His eyes were wide, mouth gaping at her. With one last glare she turned and stalked away.  
  
There had been noise, ungodly amounts of noise during the battle and in the, what seemed like hours, after. She had to get away from the questioning stares of the aurors and from the pity clearly written over their faces. She found herself in front of the Forbiden Forest, it was eerily quiet, exactly what she wanted.   
  
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He hadn't expected to live, he had secretly wished he wouldn't. Surprise didn't even begin to describe what he felt when the students joined them moments before the fight. He heard some fifth years saying it was Granger's fault. Others where deathly silent, no doubt knowing they would, in fact, die. He was angry at Granger for being so stupid and naive and for bringing these innocent children to their deaths. Another part of him was envious of how well she copped with it all. Through out the battle she was casting spells, trying to save those who were beyond saving and killing those who deserved to die.   
  
After it all, he hadn't been seriously injured, much less dead. Damn the gods. He noticed she was still standing when he finally broke his gaze away from the bodies that were littering the halls. He was a bit taken a back when she glared at him, he was on her side after all! Then when she made her way to him and hit him, hard, it was all he could do to just stare. What the hell was wrong with her?   
  
After he gathered his wits he made his way after her. That damn Granger, no one hit him! Another little voice was telling him she didn't mean it, she was just hurt. But that didn't stop him from being angry. He found her sitting near the Forbidden Forest with her head in her hands. He stood there watching for a while before he stepped forward, "Miss Granger?"  
  
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She blinked and looked up to find the owner of the voice, Snape. She glared at him once again, wishing him away. However, he didn't seem to notice, or he did and choose not to care. She figured it the latter. Damn him. She stood, ready to hit him once again. It was a great way to release the anger she felt. Unfortunately, he was prepared this time and grabbed her wrist before it had the chance to make impact.  
  
Her glare became more hateful, how dare he! She brought her other hand up, that too was taken. Okay, so she couldn't hit him, but she could kick him! Before she had the chance though, he pulled her to him, much to her surprise. He was holding her too tightly for her to do much of anything. Minutes later she realized his grip loosened and body relaxed. Too bad she no longer wanted to kick his ass.   
  
He let go of her arms, her eyes were squeezed shut, blocking out all memories of anything bad. She slowly brought her arms up to his neck and leaned in, she could forget who he was if she tried hard enough. She felt his hands tentively touch her hips, she took a shaky breath.  
  
Opening her eyes she asked, in a shaky voice, "Why us?"  
  
His body stiffened at her question, unsure of what to do or say he shrugged, "Why not us?"  
  
She pulled away quickly, eyes burning, "You ass hole!" She rose her hand to hit him again. Once again he caught her, but this time he pulled her forward and brushed his lips against hers.   
  
She froze, then pushing all reason and logic aside pulled his head to hers once again. Kissing him wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that good. It just simple was.   
  
He soon got the idea and kissed her with such force that her lips stung. His tongue pushed them apart in order to roughly explore her mouth. Soon they were tugging at eachother's robes and uniforms, tearing what was left off their bodies, and throwing them to the ground. Their hands blindly hurried their ways over eachother in efforts of pleasure. The were careful not to make eye contact, for that would be too much. The reason and logic might have kicked in if they had, and right now they didn't need either. All they needed was to feel something, anything.  
  
They fell to the floor in a head of intertwined body parts. She didn't focus on the pain in her arm and he didn't think of the pain in his leg, all they felt was a need to connect. He entered her quickly, making her scream. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades, causing crimson blood to trinkle down his back, in a way similair to tears down a cheek.  
  
There were no moans of estasy, or sighs of delight from the two as they moved as one to forget. When it was over he collaped onto her body, pinning her to the frigid ground. Both breathing heavily, sweat pouring over them, niether finding what they had come for. Moments later he picked himself off her, careful not to look at her body, he pulled on his cloths and hastely turned and walked away. Leaving her on the ground with out a word.  
  
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A/N: Did you like? I live to read reviews!! 


	3. Running away from what shouldn't be

A mixture of confusion, anger and lust was brewing deep within both participants of the earlier event. After Snape left, Hermione collected her clothing and wandered back into the dying castle. She only did this in numb fear that someone would find her, as aurors and ministry folk were still wandering the grounds.  
  
Her plan was to escape into some unknown place and just sit. Forever. Unfortunately the aurors were beginning to question the survivors on the days events. She numbly answered their questions and recalled what she could.   
  
Day turned into night and night into day.  
  
She visited Ron in the hospital one day. Sitting at his bed side they stared, not knowing what to say or do. Suddenly he took her hand and told her they would get through this thing together. He told her they would get married and have kids. Everything would be fine and that he did love her. She didn't doubt what he said, only why he said it.   
  
He was willing to ignore the fact she didn't love him, but was she willing to ignore it?   
  
He smiled and stroked her hand lovingly. He wanted someone to fix everything, she was the nearest one in sight. Two years of bliss destroyed in one battle. She didn't return his smile.   
  
She sought out Snape that night, soon she found him every night.  
  
Fudge came one week after the battle and invited the survivors to a celebrational ceremony. Right, invited, more like an order with a threat attached. So she went.   
  
Cameras flashed and questions were asked, through it all she remained silent. Finally metals were handed out, the teachers received Order of Merlin, First Class. She also received the metal, they said it was because she had the courage to lead her friends into battle. All she heard was she received a metal because she killed her friends. The rest of the student received Order of Melin, Second Class.  
  
She was asked to say a few words. Looking blankly into the flashing lights and eager journalists she shook her head before opening her mouth. "It wasn't worth it," she paused, glancing around, "It wasn't fucking worth it." She turned her metal over in her hands before she tossed it back at the one who handed it to her, "Take your damn metals and holier-then-thou titles and go to hell."  
  
She walked off the stage and out the door. Leaving a group of confused wizards and witches in her wake.   
  
Snape followed suit and soon caught up to her. He grabbed her hand and turned her to look at him. "You may not realize this, but they need you to be strong."  
  
She glared, "Why is it always me?"  
  
He sighed and squeezed her hand softly.  
  
"Fine, it's always me." So she walked back in.  
  
She helped rebuild the school, along with the rest of the survivors and was offered a teaching position.  
  
Her affair with Snape somehow turned from something to feel into something she needed. And that scared her.   
  
She left two days later.  
  
You see she was her own worst enemy. Not willing to admit she needed the him because they shouldn't have been together. The only reason they were was because the person she thought was her true love died. How could she admit in the midst of all the pain she found the one person she could truly love. It wasn't right on any level but one, which was the only one she couldn't let matter.  
  
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A/N: Sorry that this chapter sucked, it's all my fault. I just had no inspiration for it. I only really liked the last paragraph. I already know my writing style sucks and what not, so please don't feel the need to state it. Reviews are welcomed if they're constructive or if they're just to say re-do the chapter. Give me some ideas if you want. 


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